Child's Play

So, I don't particularly enjoy playing with my kids. I guess I should feel bad about that. But, I decided a while ago, I'm not going to do things I don't like to do. I do love to watch my kids play. I love to see Roman with his nose to the ground, spade in hand, digging for worms, hearing David voice his Lego guys, watching Nora push her pink Jeep down the hallway, going "beep, beep". I will occasionally pretend to be a horse for Roman, play a video game with David (Super Mario Brothers, please!), and stack blocks for Nora to knock down. It's not a regular thing, though. I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have to work, there would be a lot more interaction between my kids and I. The fact is, I'm a working mom. Play time for kids is their work. I believe letting them work on their own, or together, is better than when I'm doing it with them. Yeah, I feel guilty when they actually ask me to play and I'm all, "Oh, yeah, I really gotta get dinner ready." I'm on a schedule, damnit! Ugh, schedules: friend to me, enemy to my children.

I don't want to feel guilty about how I mother anymore. I think I'm doing a decent job. I put my kids in sports,so they value teamwork and exercise, because I sure as hell don't. I want them to have social lives because it took me years to get used to socializing with people. I still get nervous when I'm invited to a party and I don't know anyone other than the host. I put my kids in these situations that I don't enjoy, because I want them to be better at life than I feel like I've been. So, what does this have to do with playing with them? Well, I feel like when I'm providing situations for them to grow, I am "playing" with them. This is how I'm teaching them. When you're a kid, playing is your work. It's how you learn about the mechanisms of life. So, if I'm essentially setting them up in the field of life with the opportunity to explore and learn as the go, then I am "playing" with them, right? I'd rather be Lieutenant Dan to their Forest Gump and Bubba, than be Mary Poppins. I associate myself as more of a Roseanne than frickin' Kelly Ripa in any of those obnoxious Electrolux commercials. *burf*

I wish I could sit down and teach my kids stuff, but I lack the patience for them to grasp concepts that take time. So, I utilize preschool. I wish I could be crafty with them and create fun projects with fall leaves and pipe cleaners. Instead, I set up an "art" zone where they have access to paper, safety scissors, crayons, markers and stamps. "Go at it kids. Knock yourselves out being all crafty and stuff. I'll be over here trying to read the Sunday paper on a Thursday afternoon. " I get jealous of moms and dads that are all fun-loving and creative with their kids. That's cool - I commend them on their ability to be 1000 times more pumped about parenthood than me. I think I'm killing it when we make it the the zoo once every four months. I'm tired darn it. I want to lay in bed and watch "Intervention" and drink my coffee while it's still hot and play Words With Friends, take a nap, and read my book. That would be an awesome day. I'm allowed to be lazy, right? YES! Yes, I am, and if any of you disagree, then you're just weird.

Bottom line is this. I refuse to feel guilty about what I don't do for my kids. I focus on what I do DO for my kids. Is it good for them, are they learning? YES. Do I make sure they know they are loved and I am there for them when they need to complain, cry, or just sit and laugh? YES. I am there for all that. And if I'm wrong, then I'm sure their future therapist will let them know they are broken inside because I didn't pretend to be a Ninjago with them when they were 4 or 9, or whatever. We can cross that bridge when/if we get there. Until then, I'm good.